Letters to Noah: Be Gracious and Kind, Even When it’s Not Returned

Dear Noah,

Hearing you laugh at just about anything remotely funny has us giggling back with you. It cracks me up because it reminds me so much of your mom. She has the same infectious laugh, and like you, it seems there is a relatively low bar for it to appear. Both of you can smile ear to ear over almost anything. And I love it because this joy that your mom holds is also so very intertwined with the kindness she extends to others. 

So, you can understand why it’s a hope of mine that you will also find the same desire to treat people well, leading with grace and kindness. But I want to be open that this isn’t always easy to do, and neither should you expect others to offer the same in return. 

For your mom and I, we strive to treat others with kindness because we recognize our own brokenness, and amidst that, we, too, come to the table in desperate need of grace. Noah, I want you to understand something crucial about why we treat people the way we do:

The well we drink from is the same we pour out to others, for better or worse.

What you believe about yourself, Noah, and the truths you hold about who you are in this world will, ultimately, shape how you interact with others. And by others, I mean everyone. From us, your family, to your friends and the neighbors around us, to the strangers you’ll only run into once in your life as you pass in the airport. 

So, I want to remind you (and maybe myself too) of a few truths about yourself:

You are cherished and loved by God, even when your eyes turn from Him. 

Your worth and value stands independent of all your accomplishments and failures. 

You are a blessing and gift to us, even when you act out.

 You need others and others need you, even when you don’t think so. 

 You are never too lost to be found.

Noah, when you grow to trust these convictions, you will also learn to treat others well because you see yourself and them in the same light.  

And as you offer it to others, you will slowly realize that this is how we were always intended to understand ourselves and the way we view and treat others. You were meant to have known these principles known to you, indwelling in you, from your first breaths, Noah. 

But as I’ve already mentioned, this world isn’t as it ought to be. So, you’ll have to exercise patience and learn to abide by these convictions. It would be wise to remind yourself of these truths daily because you will have days (maybe even seasons) that you struggle to hold these truths for yourself, let alone treat others in light of them. And half the battle will be recognizing that you aren’t holding tightly to these truths.   

It doesn’t help that our society seldom praises any action associated with slowing ourselves down enough to evaluate how we treat people and our obligations to do it well. So, that is why I leave this letter with a hope that ties together each aspect of what I’ve told you, Noah.  

Be gracious and kind, treating others as yourself, even when it’s not returned. Because in those instances, it will only grow you further into the person you were intended to become in this world.

Until the very End, 

Dad

(Mat 22: 36 – 40, Eph 4:31)